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July 15 长大成人好象高中毕业之前参加了个成人仪式,但是参加了那个也不代表什么,今后的几年里,直到今年的六月之前,我心里上面也不知道什么叫MAN.
但是六月真象背后被插了一把刀, 猝不及防. 昨天和俺老婆聊天, 突然发现自己还挺MAN, 我没一下子被这把插到我心里的刀杀死, 一开始挣扎着, 慢慢愈合伤口, 站起来, 尽管这把刀依然在我身上插着, 面对这把刀, 一点一点把它拔出来, 等着伤口长好. 何况我也不是疤痕体质, 应该没问题的.
但是不知道这终究是一把什么刀, 也许刀尖上带着一个钩. 在最后拔出来的那一瞬间, 我会在被钩一下, 再受伤一次, 但是我觉得这把刀没这么厉害吧, 本来就是一把三俗刀, 肯定没钩的.
再说我长这么大, 还没一次干成功什么, 总要有些波折, 只要我想做, 终归会成功.
XIULI电话里说, 我这次回美国的时候, 再看见我, 我就长大了.
我真觉得我长大了, 不再是那个贫了吧几的小男孩儿了.
感谢大家一个多月来对我的安慰,鼓励,支持, 祝福我吧........ July 12 歌儿俺老婆说现在听每首歌都在象描述她的心境, 其实确实是, 人的心情无非就是喜怒哀乐, 爱恨情仇, 原因大多一致, 所以其实每首歌都可以套自己身上....
而且,,,写歌的嘛, 商业运作, 就希望每首歌可以套用在每个人头上...就象我跟CANDY姐姐说, 星座预测描述我的状况很MATCH, 但是CANDY姐姐说, 写那么一大段儿, 肯定有能套上的地方,,,但是其实我还信星座地现在...老天爷, 可别因为我剖析了这么几行字儿就惩罚我,,,HOHO,,, chaoticmaybe, game is over. who knows. i am tired, really really tired... July 07 lifei dont know what to say about my current situation. i have never had this kind of feeling over the past 26 years. sometimes you have hopes, but all of a sudden, the bubble collapses. it is testing my nerve. i have never thought that some day i would run into this kind of shit. but it is reality. i have to take my guts to face it, challenge it, solve it, and redo it, finally beginning a new life. i dont know to whom i should talk about all these feelings. not my mum and dad. i have tried every possible means to calm down, but i fail. i am still firmly convinced that i am a nice man, i try to be nice to everyone i know and i see, and what has happened is not what i deserve. every time the text message rings, i open it, and find it is just another ads text, you know how i am disappointed? exactly at this moment, my life sucks. i dont know if this is my destiny. maybe it is true that we should live on without hope. over the past 26 years, i never appreaciate the natural beauty of life, i like cities, i like those skyscrapers, flashing neons, noisy pubs, but now i really feel those places are not my places. i desperately want to see the natural. writing may be a good way to calm down, when you throw out all the trash in your body, you feel good. i dont know what i have typed, and never follow any logic. thats it. July 05 22点40从长安街往西三环开, 快到西单路口, 一个绿衣少女, 沿着隔离拦向东走, 就是天安门广场那个方向,她应该不是想找机会横穿马路, 到对面的电报大楼打电话吧, 因为我猜她有手机...也许她也是无聊了吧,,,在街上嫌逛,,,或者她喜欢看车灯, 一晃一晃的; 或者她想感受车从身边飞过的感觉, 呼呼的, 再或者她想吓唬开车的. 不猜了,,,也许大家都有一样的心境吧...
睡了. July 02 好评如潮的一句话"Many people think they are full of niubility, and like to play zhuangbility, which only reflect their shability."
But unfortunately,,,in this world,,there are so many many many such people. What if we come across them? Let's just say, "fuck off", and kick their asses to the stone age!
Alright! July 01 七月开始瓶子的六月不太顺利,,,总算过去了,,,希望七月是个新地开始...
我的脑子里, 胃里, ANYWAY, 身体里,,,在三亚灌满了各种各样的水,,,比如酒水, 海水, 矿泉水, 纯净水, 雨水, 露水等等,,,这些水都是能给我带来好运的水,,,他们灵魂附体...哈...跟着我一起飞回北京去,,,
嘿! DI, YOU ARE THE BEST, AND THE MOST LUCKY GUY IN THIS TINY TINY WORLD! |
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